This Online Thread Is Dedicated To Shaming Parents That Cross The Line With Their ‘Helicopter Parenting’ Behavior (80 Answers)
Helicopter parents are moms and dads who pay extremely close attention to their kids' activities and schoolwork in an effort to not only protect them from pain and disappointment but to help them succeed. Helicopter parents are known for constantly hovering over their children and being overly involved in their lives.
To get a better picture of them, a now-deleted user posted a question on the platform, asking: "What is the most extreme example of helicopter parenting that you have ever witnessed?" and people flooded the comments with all sorts of real-life examples. From escorting their son to a job interview to forcing college students to befriend their daughter, here are the most memorable ones.
#1I worked at a science museum that had hands on for kids.
The aim of the game was for the child to solve a problem by themselves. Like "can you get x to do y", they make something, test it, and figure out how to make it better.
One day a woman comes in, practically dragging her five year old son. She sits him down beside me and starts poking me on the shoulder and I'm talking to another family.
"Tell my son what to do," she says, standing over him. I tell the family to hold on a sec, as I explain the challenge to the newcomer. The whole point is to work autonomously, so it was alright, and I was used to working with a few rude/pushy parents so I wasn't surprised. I tell the kid the prompt, tell him he had a wide range of materials...
But no. The woman wants me to tell him every step of the process. "Tell him the answer! Tell him the answer!" she says repeatedly, grabbing his hands to make him fold paper, or reaching for my own.
I start getting mad. "Ma'am, the goal here is to learn the scientific method. Make a hypothesis, test it, make conclusions and try again."
"But you already KNOW the answer," she says, "tell my son! Or I'm calling your manager!"
I don't even have a manager. In the mean time, the poor kid is looking so embarrassed. Ever time he tries to start something for himself, his mom reaches for his hands and tells him to wait for me to tell him what to do. The woman was so afraid of him failing when the whole point was to learn from one's mistakes. I'm so worried about how he'll deal with mistakes growing up, with her around.
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#2I was a manager of a bagel store. Had an interview with a kid, I think he was about 16.
His dad came to the interview, and basically answered every single question I asked the kid.
At the end of the interview I turned to the dad and said "You're hired.", look on his face was priceless. The kid laughed his a*s off.
Since quite a few people have asked. The kid came back for an interview on his own a few days later, and I hired him. But ultimately it didn't work out.
He was a nice kid, and reasonably smart, but had absolutely no work ethic. And couldn't perform even simple tasks really. I have always assumed that this was due to his parents pampering him. He only lasted a short time (I think it was about 2 months).
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#3As a kid, my sister had a friend and went over to her house quite a bit to hang out with her. The friend lived in a very nice, quiet neighborhood.
After a day of hanging with her friend at her house, my sister told me that her friend’s parents had placed cameras in her room. The camera was also equipped with a microphone to not only hear what was going on in her room, but also to speak to the child.
My sister told stories after coming home about the mom calling into the room to sometimes tell them to stop doing an activity or to be a little more quiet. THIS WOMAN WAS WATCHING THEIR EVERY MOVE AND LISTENING TO THEIR EVERY CONVERSATION!
I feel bad for the girl, honestly. To me that’s a huge invasion of privacy, as well as it is extremely creepy in general.
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#4Military recruiting - the helicopter parents who would try to have us recruit their kid without their consent were staggering. Parents would call to make appointments for testing, and were furious when we said we had to speak to the kid. If the kid is a minor, the parents have to sign a waiver, and at that point we can no longer give any information to the parent, so some parents would call and pose as their child in order to get test results, book appointments, and so on. Some parents even tried to attend the testing with their child and were furious when we said no.
Then, invariably, when little Johnny got turned down for being a s**t pump with no initiative, we'd get an earful from Mommy about how their child is the most special human being on the earth. Those were the fun times when I could say "have you stopped to consider that Johnny isn't getting a job because he has no initiative or desire to be here based on a parent pushing him into a career he doesn't want, rather than him being allowed to make his own choices?" Usually didn't go over well, and then I'd hang up.
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#5Had a mother call me to find out why her son didn't get the job.
And an attorney.
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#6I was at college orientation, and one parent came up to my friend and said, "That girl over there is my daughter. You go up to her and introduce yourself to her and be her friend." It wasn't done in a cute way. It was semi-threatening.
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#7An acquaintance of mine getting yelled at by her parents when she decided to get an apartment for herself. She was 30 at the time.
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#8I teach high school and occasionally college. [In] one teacher-parent meeting for a high school student, the mother mentioned her other kid was enrolled at a local university, and that she (the mother) was also enrolling in the same classes to ensure her daughter did her work.
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#9I had a mother turn up at my workplace accusing me of racism [because] I didn’t hire her daughter. We’re a very multicultural practice, and myself and two other people are white English, six Indian staff, two Greek, two Nigerian, three Chinese, and three Pakistani.
I took her to our photo wall of staff and asked her why she thinks I was racist, and she said that her daughter “looked more Indian than the other staff”... Her daughter, who was more than qualified, didn’t get the job for a couple of reasons:
1) She refused to put her phone away during the interview in case her mother phoned.
2) Her mother phoned more than 10 times and she answered every call.
3) She asked if she could keep her mum on the phone to listen [in on] the interview in case she needed help to answer my questions.
How could she run a practice if she needed to have her mum help her at the interview?
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#10Working summer orientation for my old community college, and we have new students register for classes towards the end of the session. Counselors are there to help with class selection.
This one mom was literally hovering over her son telling him which classes to choose and completely ignoring the counselor's advice, when she had [her son] stand up. She proceeded to sit down, and she herself started registering her son for his classes.
I tried to intervene, letting her know that we ask that the student [to] register themselves, and that he'll be doing online registration for the rest of his college career. I was told to f**k off.
Later, I pulled him aside and told him to change his password and swap into a class more appropriate for his placement exams.
It was this incident that triggered us to design a parent orientation to keep them away from their kids.
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#11While working at new student orientation in college, I was told a story from a previous year. The parents who attended orientation were housed separately from the students. One mom wanted to stay with her daughter and took the bed of another student. The mom told the student she can find somewhere else to sleep.
The student, not knowing what to do, ended up sleeping in a chair in the common area of the dorm.
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#12My sister is a freshman in college, and her roommate has an absolute psycho helicopter mom.
They're both on the cross country team and very good students. My sister said the roommate never drinks or goes out, but her mom tracks her through phone GPS and will text her constantly asking why she's at such-and-such place.
My sister said one time they were at Walmart getting groceries, and her mom called her to ask why she was at Walmart at 9 pm. Another time, they drove to my other sister's (she lives in the same town) apartment to pick something up, and the girl's mom called and starts yelling and asking why she's been sitting in a parking lot for 20 minutes. My sister said she'll constantly have to send pictures of them at the library to her to prove they're actually studying.
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#13When I was 15 the parents of a kid in my school year drove 7 hours to save their pride and joy from watching Casino Royale on the coach's on-board DVD player driving back from a school trip. The best part about it is that he must have asked our teacher what the film was in advance and then told his mum.
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#14I work at an admissions front desk for a university, so I get helicopter parents all the time over the phone, but I had a mom that had me laughing over the phone because of how ridiculous she was. Let's call her Susan for reference.
At first, she was normal, asking about general admissions processes and what are the requirements.
However, where she messed up was when she admitted [that] she did the application for him because, "He is a boy, and you know how boys can be, so I just did it for him."
Then she started to fly off the walls. She asked if the campus was open because she wanted to visit her son EVERY SINGLE DAY since they live 15 minutes away from the main campus. Susan tried making herself not sound crazy by sliding in her bringing him baked goods and home-cooked meals, but I know she just [wanted] to pester her child.
There was another talk about how she wanted to get access to his student account to see his grades. I told her that she was not going to be allowed to get that access because her child will be considered an adult, and the student has to give her permission by [filing] a FERPA form. She wanted to know how and where to get those documents ASAP.
As far as social life, Susan asked if there were parties on campus. It's a college, of course there are going to be parties. The worst part is that she asked if they are supervised... by PARENTS!
This is where I couldn't help but laugh because why did she think that this was a high school setting? Susan then followed up with, "Well, how will I know where he is going or if he gets in trouble?" and I said, very casually, "Ma'am, if your student decides to do something illegal and gets caught by campus police and gets arrested, you'll be getting that phone call."
And she had nothing else to say
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#15Fifth grade overnight trip to nature center. A kid's mom went (was only parent that wasn't a teacher to go) and had a complete meltdown when she was told that her kid would be sleeping in a cabin with other kids and not her... She was told this before [the] trip as well. Four teachers per cabin, basically overnight school. She basically spent the entire night outside watching the cabin, really creeped everyone out...
Man, the rants she went on [on] Facebook... at least her friends and family called her out on her nonsense. [I] imagine quite a few people got blocked that day
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#16A guy at my high school last year wrote some college application essays, and after his parents read them they kicked him out of his own account, changed the password, and rewrote them entirely.
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#17My first roommate in college had a helicopter mom. She would:
* He was born deaf, [but] she never allowed him to learn sign language because she would "always be there to protect him," and "he needs to live a normal life, not a deaf life" (her words, not mine). He was pretty good at lip reading and could vocalize remarkably well given how profound his hearing loss was.
* She pulled me aside and very seriously asked me to inform her any time he talked to a girl... She said he [had] "problems" with girls trying to take advantage of him.
* Insisted he say goodnight to her every night, which meant he had to be on instant messenger (deaf, so he couldn't call without using a specialized typing phone) with her for at least an hour every night, or else she'd call our room phone in a panic looking for him.
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#18My wife, being a teacher, had to deal with this on a regular basis. Usually, she would have that parent do menial tasks so they would not bother the class.
One parent became so overbearing (demanding to see lesson plans, making my wife take class time to re-explain subjects), my wife deliberately left a quiz out. This parent took the quiz and slipped her kid the answers. Knowing the kid was not a good student, my wife got the parent to fess up to taking the test and passing the answers. This went to the principal, and he banned her from the class.
The parent made multiple complaints, even going to a district meeting. The school board [upheld] the ban
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#19One lady we had over was shocked that my (at the time) 9-year-old younger brother could dress himself and brush his teeth.
Claiming that he was “so mature” and that her daughter, age 9, couldn’t do anything like that.
My mom immediately realized it was helicopter parenting and had a long talk with her. I hope that little girl has learned how to dress herself and do lots of other basics now...
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#20My brother was injured pretty badly while training in Lebanon. (Israeli army). The base commander (equivalent to a captain in the us army) refused to send him to a hospital because he was partially to blame for the accident and asked the camp nurse to take care of him.
The nurse, after pumping my brother up on morphine, contacted my mom. Mom, who was a military police colonel at the time, proceeded to commandeer a chopper, fly up to the base, tear the commander a new a*****e and evac my brother out.
I mean, she literally took a helicopter. I don't think it gets more helicopter parent than that.
To be fair, she's a good mom and never really tried to control us too much. If s**t gets serious though, she'll happily murder anyone who threatens her family.
#21I worked at a small community library. A kid lived in the building across the parking lot from the library. He would leave his building, walk the ~150 feet to the front door of the library, come to the desk, and use the courtesy phone to call and report to his mom that he got to the library safely.
I remember the day that he didn't do this, she came flying into the library like five minutes later FREAKING OUT that her son had been kidnapped and we needed to find him.
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#22More extreme in the duration than the act itself: my 71-year-old grandmother still phones my 51-year-old mother three times a day demanding to know where she is and what she's doing.
#23I know helicopter parenting is funny from afar, but...
My mom was a helicopter parent. She controlled who my friends were, what sports I played, and even the classes I took in high school.
For anyone dealing with a helicopter parent that requires absolute control, that praises you for your successes (much more than warranted), but punishes you for shortcomings (also more than warranted). Please cut them out of your life.
A personality disorder develops because of this. It is most prevalent in males, but can also be in females. When you're a child and your primary caregiver causes your emotions to constantly go from love, warmth, and trust to guilt, hate, and worthlessness, which are all constantly present emotions with a helicopter parent. You don't develop emotional trust, which in my mind is the most important human aspect.
When this happens to a child, a quite clever thought process take place. "If I can't feel, I can't get hurt." A child suppresses their emotions and chooses not to experience them.
As someone who took this route. It doesn't give you happiness. It gives you nothing. I constantly experience emotions, but on the inside. I despise people for showing theirs, but am truly jealous instead. I can't hold relationships or friendships.
I'm 21. It took me four years of my life to get to the root of my problem and its going to take me even longer to get better.
If you're someone who has experienced the unfortunate psychological abuse of helicopter parenting, remember, everything you learn, you can unlearn. It just takes more effort. Start reinforcing your behaviour that you enjoy about yourself and stop focusing on the bad. Your parent focused on the bad and only what they considered to be good. It is your turn to live.
#24In my first college course there was a 16 year old in my class and their parent sat through the entire lecture next to them. The professor expressed his concern about her taking up a seat for a student and the mom immediately snapped at him about how she was paying his salary by enrolling her kid there and she deserved "respect". Poor kid made no friends in that class.
#25When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to talk on the phone without my mom or grandmother listening in from another phone in the house. If i wanted to send a personal letter they had to read it before it went in the mail, and of course they opened anything that came addressed to me. I also had to write in a diary daily which they were allowed to read. Schoolwork I had to let one of them read before I turned it in and then when it was graded, show them the comments the teacher had made. My mom would even go through my trash and if she found something - a note from a friend, a phone number jotted down on a notecard, etc- she would iron out the paper and make me explain it.
For a while, I wasn't allowed any toys that weren't educational. When i was 5 my grandpa bought me a Transformer and before i was allowed to play with it he had to make a 2 hour defense to my grandma that the transformer was not only a pretty accurate model of a real military jet, but also a puzzle and having it would foster patriotism and an interest in technology and otherwise improve my mind. In the end I got to keep it. She didn't know it was from a tv show or it would've gone right in the trash.
Going to see movies wasn't a matter of "hey mom can I have money for a movie?" I had to cut an ad for it and a review out of the paper, highlight the parts of the ad and review that made me interested in the film, and present these to an adult at dinner. The adults in the house would then debate the pros and cons of me seeing the movie, and sometimes i would be allowed to go- supervised, of course.
#26When I was 14, I helped my sister film a project for her and her teammates when they were in the 6th grade. They had to do a music video and switch the lyrics of a song to have it be science related, so they chose Survivor's "The Eye of the Tiger" and turned it into "The Bones of our Body".
Everybody came to our house and we shot the music video in one shot in our garage. One of the teammates was this REALLY quiet kid, but still made the effort to sing along. When everybody's parents came to pick them up, Shy Guy's mother INSISTED on watching the video. It wasn't ready of course, I still had to edit it. But nope! She ended up seeing the whole thing damn thing through the camcorder screen...and she didn't like it. She told me to film it again and to make sure Shy Guy came out more (when some of the teammates left already!).
So everybody had to return to our house and film again because of a crazy lady. Oh yeah! And she stood behind the camera to make SURE that Shy Guy came out. WTF! She was a known psycho, so we figured it was best to do it again to shut her up.
#27I used to teach/lecture at a university. I had one poor homeschooled student who's mother insisted on attending the university with him. She enrolled in the same course and used to follow him around to observe his social interactions, and dictate to him who he should be friends with etc. He had limited social skills as it was, and this made it much much worse. In the end I put them in different lecture streams so that they had to attend separate lectures and labs. She spat the dummy and took me before the Dean to change them into the lecture streams, but the Dean was pretty happy with what I had done. A few weeks later the student came and thanked me personally.
#28Back when I was in Boy Scouts, we had this really weird family in our troop. Let's call the kid Joe for reference.
We held game/movie nights once a year in the winter for everyone to come to. Joe's parents were homeschooling him, and apparently didn't want him watching and movies rated above PG-13 (Even though EVERYONE including Joe was 14 or older), and disallowed him from playing any games rated above E (Everyone).
We ignored the parent because he was a real s**t nugget and brought teen-rated games and PG-13 movies, because we wanted it to be fun. The parents flipped s**t and yelled at the parents who hosted it, saying that it was inappropriate.
He eventually threatened to take us to court and requested that we never spoke to him again. I checked up on Joe last year, and apparently his parents never let him use the internet (This whole fiasco happened in 2008). They also prohibited him from getting his driver's license because they feared him getting into trouble.
He was a decent kid though, too bad his parents were batshit crazy.
#29I was homeschooled from the second grade to the 10th grade due to difficulties with shitty teachers.
- Wasn't allowed to wear tight fitting clothes. Everything had to be a size or two too big because Mom didn't want me "profiling".
- I couldn't be at friends' houses or parties without my mother being there.
- Couldn't listen to anything other than gospel music and disney songs (yes, even well into my teens). Mom explicitly banned non-gospel music on Sundays, not even allowing me to have my ipod on the way to church.
- No sex ed. Mom bought some christian girl talk book, but grounded me for a month when she caught me flipping through it without her consent.
- If I were going to hang out with a friend, Mom had to know who would be there, where we were going, and what we were doing, even to the point of asking for peoples' numbers. She only really ever let me hang out alone with one person. Ironically, the one person was the one who helped me sneak around to hang out with other people.
- Wasn't allowed to watch movies above PG, read/watch anything with magic or witchcraft (aside from disney movies because f**k if I know), or play video games outside of like, Legend of Zelda. I also wasn't allowed to be on the internet half the time since we had dial-up.
- No sex. I came home from college and Mom about shat herself when she found my Depo shot reminder that had fallen out of my purse.
- No pills or therapists. My parents let me see a therapist and start taking Prozac since I was 23 and they were legally unable to stop me, but they let me know just about every week how much they're not okay with it. I'm supposed to be praying the depression away, dammit!
- Inviting themselves to my therapy appointments. As in, calling me at 8pm the night before, long after the office has closed, to tell me they're coming with me to my appointment. Which also f***s up my therapist's schedule.
- Constantly berating me about my spending habits. I know I have a shitty handle on spending. I'm currently attempting to budget, and I do not need to drive down to the house 45 minutes out of my way to be lectured about it.
- Whenever they have some kind of beef with me, they won't tell me what it is. All I get is, "you need to come to the house tomorrow, I'm not in the mood to talk about it right now" if I even as for so much as a preview of what's going on. After spamming the hell out of my phone with calls.
- I'm not allowed to be angry with them or anything. If I express any kind of objection, it's "talking back" or "being a smart alek." I speak in a VERY monotone voice when I'm around them, because I don't feel like being snapped at to "watch my mouth" if I offer any kind of inflection.
Basically my life. I'm still moved out, but they still tend to act as if I'm still living with them.
#30My ex girlfriend. When we first started dating her mom would call and text her every 15 mins to see what we were doing. If she didn't answer immediately she'd text me to see what we were doing. We went swimming once and she had to leave the pool every 10 mins to text her mom. Her parents were almost inconsolably crying the week leading up to her 18th brithday. Her mom had told me she didn't plan on letting her move out until her late 20s and when she did move out she'd have to call everyday and visit her 5 times a week. My gf had been bullied severely in high school and her parents were more than happy to let her drop out so she could be at home more. When I encouraged her to get her GED and helped her study her parents were upset because getting her GED meant she might be able to go to college and move out (she did pass her GED). Her parents cleaned up after her, made all her meals, and religiously tracked her money even after she turned 18. They made sure she couldn't do basic household tasks like laundry so that she couldn't move out. Once at my house we were watching a movie and neither had our phone on us. Her mom showed up at my house to check on us. They even monitored her food. She'd get her steak well done and I once had her try it medium rare to see if she liked it. She did but her parents scolded her for it. I ended things with her becuase although I loved her I couldn't handle her parents and just couldn't ever see myself married to her in the future with parents like that.
#31Took my son to the playground and there was a mother actually squatting inside a tiny plastic playhouse, monitoring her five year-old. He looked absolutely mortified.
#32This woman at my work, her son just got a job there as well and I overheard her discussing his schedule with the hr department, talking about his availability and which departments he can work.
#33My old roommates mom called me and basically asked me to parent him for her because i was the girl roommate
#34Friend of my sister's (sister has kids I don't), mother flew a drone to follow her kids to their neighborhood park the first time they went alone.
#35When my friend took her sons to a nursery, the mother of a 6-month old baby had provided them with a multi-page manual of how to care for him. I can't quite remember the details, but she had either written out different types of crying phonetically with a chart of what each type "meant," or may have stood in the office giving her own demonstration of each cry.
It did have the benefit of making my friend, who had felt a bit guilty about returning to work, feel like an entirely normal and reasonable mother by comparison.
#36When I got to my first operational squadron, there was another pilot I would regulalry go on mid day training/familiarization flights with. Every time we would fly to his neighborhood and do a couple circles around his house to "check on the kids." If they came outside we would hover briefly and wave back.
#3715-y.o. genius girl arrived on our small liberal arts college campus. Her parents made her check in by phone every time she got back from classes, randomly called during the evening to make sure she was still there, had the RA spying on her every move, and picked her up Friday at 2 PM. She said that dad paid the phone bill so he could see every call she made (this was before cell phones or the internet).
She loved poetry. We had a poetry slam on Wednesday nights at the student union cafe. She wanted to go, but they feared she would become too passionate in public. She took a risk and went anyway; they happened to call five minutes before she got back, and then kept calling until she answered. She told them she'd been in the bathroom, but then they started calling her friends (they'd made her highlight names in a campus student directory) and in just a few minutes they got a well-meaning fellow student to admit she was at the poetry night.
Her mom and dad showed up before midnight to move her back home. We never saw her again.
#38My best friend in high school, and I kind of helped her dodge her father the best she could. So, like, I became the crazy, Satanist, lesbian heathen even though I was, like, none of those things.
She wasn't allowed to talk to people not of their religion (she did anyway). She wasn't allowed to own fiction books (I hid them for her). They didn't want her drawing or writing because her imagination was dangerous (we had art parties). God forbid she go to college or get a job because where would they be without her (I smuggled her to a community college to put in an application).
Unfortunately, she now lives with her parents still despite the fact she's bordering 28, never finished her degree, has never had a job, and spends most of her time babysitting. We've fallen out of touch because, well, I couldn't keep fighting for her forever. I still worry about her a lot, though.
I'd contact her if there was a reliable way to do so.
#39My grandmother (who lived with us) did not let me walk up and down stairs, and I was also not allowed to let shower water hit my chest. She believed that if I either fell on the stairs or did them too quickly I would die. She also told me that if shower water pounded on my chest it would destroy my heart and it would be my fault if I had a heart attack and died. Both of these were enforced rules (amongst 10 million others) in my house.
She did have a kid who had died of heart problems, but the shower water thing is only an instruction for like RIGHT AFTER open heart surgery. Jesus.
#40This is a story about a guy I grew up with; I remember him as the whiny kid who cried a lot. I only know this story because our moms are friends.
Anyway...he was still living at home at 23 and hadn't been out on his own yet. He decided to go visit his sister for a few days, I think his parents had brought up the idea in an effort to nudge him out of the nest. I'm not sure exactly how far away his sister lived, but he only made it to Boise, which is about a 5 hour drive from our hometown. Once he got to Boise, he called his mom and dad crying about how he was homesick and tired of driving.
His parents then decided to drive up together so that they could pick him up and drive his car home for him! He slept in the backseat while he waited for them. A five f*****g hour drive to rescue their poor little boy!
At 23 years old people! Don't helicopter parent your kids; they'll never grow up.
Absolutely hilarious read.
Edit: This is the military mom who was trying to "help" her son while he was in the beginning of his military career. She contacted someone who runs a Facebook page for the military and the guy has fun with it.
#42Till I was 18 years old, I wasn't allowed to listen to anything other than classical or country music, I wasn't allowed to wear baggy clothes (think 1997 when baggy jeans were the thing to wear) and I wasn't allowed to wear any style of skater shoes, or any brand name shirts or any band merch. My mother would go through all my stuff when I was at work, snap CD's, cut up shirts and jeans into a load of pieces and throw them away, and replace them with her approved items. 5 days before I turned 18 my girlfriend at the time took me to do my driving test, and my mom cut it up when she heard me on the phone telling my friend that I had passed it.
Flash forward to today, I'm 36, moved to England, got married, quite a severe case of misanthropy, no interest in having kids, I'm covered in tattoos, got a great job, and most importantly, an amazing wife who had a completely opposite upbringing but the same outview on everything as I do, also an awesome job. We told the family to mind their own business and got married in Vegas 6 years ago and will live happily ever after with our cats. :)
#43My college English professor told me this story about one of his students. He had this kid in class who seemed to be really passionate about English, but by the end of the first week the kid stopped coming to class. Soon after, he got a call from the kids parents. Apparently they made their son drop out because they did not want him reading fiction books. The only books he was allowed to read were non-fiction and the Bible. Now I go to a small Christian University, so the craziest book we were reading was Faust by Goethe. All the other books were stuff like the Iliad, Othello, and My Antonia. I couldn't believe these parents still had control over their son like that in college. I just feel horrible for the kid because it seemed like he really wanted to learn.
Edit: I just wanted to clarify that I didn't mean to bash the Bible in any way. I'm a Christian myself and I didn't mean for it to sound like the entire bible is fiction. The reason the parents didn't want him to read fiction books was because they believed that it would lead to temptation and eventually sin. They also sound like those types of Christians who take the entire bible literally, which is not the majority of Christians. Most Christians believe that parts of the Bible, like Jesus's parables are supposed to be fiction and meant to convey a certain message.
#44I remember this one private that showed up to his first duty station with his mother in tow. She came along to help get him settled and make sure everything went smoothly and ensure his sergeants were nice to him. I remember first formation she was behind him in the parking lot telling him to stand up straight, etc, wanted to speak with someone about diet and sleeping schedule.
So kid gets assigned to my squad and First Sergeant tells me to deal with it. Long story short I smoked the s**t out of that kid. Like absolutely wrecked him making his mom watch the whole time. She's crying and threatening me "just you wait until so-and-so finds out what you did, I'm friends with random-name-drop." I kept telling her I'll stop scuffing up Jr as soon as you leave and never come back. She apparently sold her house and purchased one near the base expecting Jr to come live with her. Application for off post housing denied. We never banned mom from coming on post but there was a standing order that if anyone in the platoon saw Jr's mom I would smoke the s**t out of him. Finally she got it into her head that she was f*****g up her kids life and moved back home.
I can't even imagine what that kids life would have been like if he'd gone to college first. Where would he be if he hadn't had a caring and compassionate NCO such as myself?
Edit: I tracked Jr down on Facebook. Look's like he made it up to E5 before his contract ended and didn't reenlist. He declined to move back home with mother. He's now married with a kid on the way.
#45Probably an acquaintance of mine. I have posted about it on Reddit before a couple of times but he is pretty bad, so I'll share it again. This guy knows that his son is going to be a great NFL quarterback. The kid turned 10 recently and is a decent player, but his father has him work with different trainers and spend hours each day practicing. He takes vitamins, has a special diet, and isn't allowed to play other sports because his dad wants him to focus completely on football and doesn't want to risk an injury playing another sport that would sideline him for football. He can't have sleepovers or do any normal kid things. I know for a fact that the kid has told his father that he doesn't want to play anymore, but the dad doesn't care. He says that as a parent, he has to do what is best for his kid. My sons play sports too and they don't always want to go to practice, so I understand making them stick with something they signed up for. My kids know that they have to finish out a season, but I am perfectly fine if they don't want to sign up the next season. I just don't understand why someone would continue to sign their kid up for something they clearly do not want to do. It's a situation that I can't see ending well.
#46I worked in a school for kids with behavior issues. These kids were typically aggressive and some would elope from the building. Parents usually signed a release saying that we could touch their kids for restraint purposes. You have to remember that these kids would be out for blood during one of their crisis episodes. It wasn't done for punishment, only safety.
Well we had one parent who wouldn't sign it because little Johnny "didn't really need to be there." Since we couldn't touch him, he could beat up on the teachers and nothing could legally be done. We would just move out of the way. One day he decided to leave the building and run down the road. We called the police and said we had a kid who left the building and we couldn't get him back. Mom was notified and Johnny was brought back in a cop car. She was irate over the situation and took him home for the rest of the day because she was scared he was traumatized.
#47I had a friend who's mom wouldn't let him sleep over at friends houses because she was afraid he would scratch himself on the zipper of a sleeping bag.
#48This mom at the park holding her toddler on a leash with only a few inches of leash between her toddler and her hand. Little girl was trying to play in the sand with another child and if she so much as reached for the other child's shovel she was yanked back. It was essentially the same as pulling on her shirt to stop her from moving away. It made me sad to think about this child not having any freedom to explore and her every move halted before she even did anything "wrong." I'm not a fan of leashes in general (though I recognize they have their time and place if your kid is a bolter -- like airports, Disney, etc) but this particular use of the leash was pretty unnecessarily restrictive.
#49I work as over the phone tech support for a public university. During the months of December and April/May is when I get the most helicopter parents.
Each student has a security question attached to their account, but this one parent was bound determined to get into his daughter's accounts, as he kept giving incorrect answers to the question. No correct answer = No account info given/comprehensive assistance given.
The call lasted for at least thirty minutes and included but was not limited to:
- Threatening Lawsuits
- Excessive Swearing
- Several pieces of office stationary being slammed into the callers desk over and over.
The call finally ended with a swift pass to my supervisor, who just repeated everything that I had said. Needless to say that as one of my first calls in telephone support, this was definitely one to remember.
I understand that if you pay the bills you want some sort of access, but all that we can legally give is joint access to the bill pay site.
#50Went to school for animation and one kid in my school was absolutely obnoxious. His parent apparently homeschooled him and groomed him to be "master animator". One of our earliest assignments was to animate a bouncing ball and the professor gave him a "B" saying how he drew a bowling ball but it bounced like a tennis ball. The next day the kid came with his parents and uncle who was a physicist to prove to the professor that the bowling ball would bounce the way it did when dropped from the height his beloved nephew dropped it from and demanded that they gave him an A. After they left the professor grabbed the student and yelled at him saying if his ridiculous family members ever stepped foot in his classroom again, he would fail and kick him out of the department.
#51I ran a kid's theater program, so who wasn't a helicopter parent?
I had one kid who had a leading role two years in a row, but didn't get a lead the third year she was in our program- she just wasn't the right fit for any of the parts (we were doing 'Fiddler on the Roof Jr.' and her onstage personality was very 'diva'). But we did take one of the smaller roles (named townsperson) and divide it into three, and gave that girl one of the three. The mom came storming in and demanded to know why her daughter didn't get a lead and how dare we give her a made up role and how come a girl who had just joined the program got a lead (because that girl was a perfect fit for the part). It was just ridiculous and the kid ended up dropping out of the show.
#52* There was a mom who would come to middle school every day at lunch to "touch up" her daughter's ponytail. Like, she'd tighten it or smooth down flyaways. She'd come back if the girl had anything after school...She also punched a boy at the Fall Fling because his pumpkin won the pumpkin carving contest. His wasn't the greatest, but he was the most popular kid in school, and it was voted on by students, so obviously. The girl cried (like, huge heaving sobs) and the mom flipped out, running onto the dance floor, and found the boy who won and just started pummeling him for "stealing" the votes...
* Parents of a girl I went to school with got arrested because they parked in front her dorm and slept in their van. Then, they would walk with her to classes and sit in the back of the room. Some other students reported that there were people living in the van on campus (like, in the middle of campus, not on some public street) and when security investigated, the dad tried to throw a George Foreman grill at him. It was weird.
#53My parents tracked my phone (this even continued in college), read my texts, emails and social media, searched my room weekly and sometimes my body. Theyd take my door often. I was a straight A student that never did anything wrong before they started that. Started acting out some and developed really bad anorexia because it was the only thing I had control over in my life. My dad was also abusive but this was their helicopter side. Now I can't wait to move across the country next summer and be far away from them.
Edit: just to clarify. I am not sick anymore. My anorexia went away when I left the house and went to college
Edit: wow I thought this would be a minor case compared to others. Apparently not
#54My brother had it pretty bad. He ended up being locked in his room for the summer because he went to his high school grad party without permission. (He could leave for food, or to use the bathroom) He decided "f**k it" and went to college far away. He's doing extremely well for himself now. He's in a fraternity, and interning as an actuary.
#55My wife's mother/my MIL. We were passing through the state (as adults) and had the stupid idea to stop by since my wife wanted to see her grandma, who lives there. MIL found out it was going to rain that night while we were driving so she poisoned me and I ended up hospitalized. Yay
#56I had a friend in high school whose mom was terrible. Every time there was a party (and, mind you, most of my friends were Mormon so they were supervised, appropriate parties) she would come just to make sure her daughter wasn't getting into trouble. She wouldn't let her watch pg-13 movies (even at 17), had a strict curfew, and became a constant and judgemental fixture at every social event. One time she called me a s**t because she saw me kiss a boy at a school dance (she wasn't chaperoning, she was just there to watch her daughter). The best story though was one time my friends and I went to my house to watch a scary movie. Sheltered friend comes. Helicopter mom shows up. My dear mother distracted her in the kitchen so my friend could have a little peace and just be a teenager. My mom later said she had no idea what to talk to her about so they talked about cats for 2 hours. My mom is a saint.
#57My university's subreddit had a future student's parent posting questions about the college, campus, and dorms, etc. the real student (coming to school next year) made a post calling the parent out for being a helicopter
#58I was at a playground with my daughter. Two parents were following their similarly aged kid around, staying within a foot of him at all times. The entire time they were saying things like "dont do this, dont do that, be careful, this is too dangerous, dont fall, let me help you, youre going to fall" etc etc. 1. Their constant blabbering was annoying the hell out of me and 2. Let your kid be a kid! He will not die going down a 4 foot slide, I promise.
#59This guy my sister dated in high school. He was/ is an ahole. His mom. Horrible woman to begin with. Tried to meddle in their dating love life in 9th grade. Like called my sister and would say, "hes going to take you to the the movies. He'll buy you popcorn and a soda. Dont ask for anything else. Hes going to try kiss you after. Take a toothbrush so you dint have popcorn in your mouth. He can feel you up but nothing more. Next week you guys are coming over my house to watch a movie. You can have any sex but vaginal. Dont worry ill be in the next room so if he wants more ,let me know, ive already told him i want him to make his losing his virginity special. And his junior year . Ive already talked to the cheerleading coach and she is going to be picking out a special one of her girls.
My sister was like ,youre f*****g crazy f**k you, ill do what i want when i want. But all his girlfriends got the same treatment. And they all had to give in to mommy. Mom had a key to his apartment when he moved out and would drop by.
She would walk in during sex and his gfs were expected to not mind or sometimes just ignore her coming in and collecting his laundry.
She picked his clothes. She picked his apartment. His stuff for apartment. When he underperformed at work (teacher and coach) mommy came in and yelled at the principal. They apologized. She interfered with a cop giving him a ticket. She made a hm break up with a fiance because fiance couldn't babysit one night. (He dated a lot of broken girls)
His dad was on the school district board in a corrupt city. Whole family had money. (Mostly stolen)
There is about 30 other stories i could tell on top these
#60A girl I know isn't allowed to have gum or soda until she is 18. She was not allowed to watch anything PG-13 other that Star Wars and Star Trek until she is 18. No video games, 1 TV show per week. Basically all she is allowed to do in her free time is read, study, and do homework.
#61I had this friend in middle school whose mom never let her do anything. Sometimes on Friday, our school had this fundraiser where you paid $2 to be allowed to wear a t-shirt (instead of the usual polo shirt) . On one of those days, my friend had woken up early to straighten her hair so she could look cute while wearing her t shirt but then her mom told her she could either have straight hair or wear a t shirt. The fight that ensured led to her mom spraying her hair with water and not giving her money for the fundraiser. This other time, my friend arrived at school wearing her band polo and some orange sneakers, and told me that she got in a fight with her mom that day over the shoes. Her mom told her to change them but my friend was about to miss the bus so she logically said she had no time. Her mom then told her she was going to wear that same shirt every day as punishment for being disobedient. And true to her word, every afternoon my friend would get home, her mom would wash the band polo, and my friend would show up the next day wearing it again. She started wearing colorful jackets every day to hide it.
#62Went to college with a young lady who's parents immigrated from India, and every day I would tell her she's allowed to do whatever the hell she wants in this country. Her parents never let her do anything, and even punished her for being late getting home from work (we work in restaurants). Second year, I went from "do what you want" to "f**k them, they're controlling and abusive."
#63She wouldn't let her kid turn on streetpass on his 3ds because apparently that's how child predators catch kids despite the fact that the "online" interaction is limited to receiving a bad 3d model and single censored sentence. Also she told my parents that they were idiots for letting me pursue a degree in language, which was pretty awkward considering my dad got his PhD in French.
#64I knew a girl in college whose mother would frequently drive 11 hours to the campus to clean her dorm for her. I remember having a conversation with the daughter where she mentioned she's never held an actual job before. I raised my eyebrows and said something like, "Wow, really? Not even at McDonald's or something like that?" And her mom got defensive with me and said, "She's only 19!" Her mom would build her up like she was gonna do great things after college and it carried into the girl's ego that she was special, but she didn't know how to do the bare minimum of taking care of herself and was still playing with children's toys at 20 years old.
EDIT: Well aware that sometimes teens don't get a job until college for multiple reasons: want to focus on schoolwork, theater rehearsals or sports practices, can't get access to a place to work, etc. This was none of those. She was bragging that she never had a job because I was exhausted from a long day I had had at my internship that day. Side note: her mom was being snarky at me about my having an internship, and I had told her "it's in our curriculum that we need at least one to graduate." Her eyes got wide and she starts yelling at her daughter why didn't she mention that? She probably could have helped her find an internship, and the girl just rolled her eyes and gave some answer along the lines of "because I don't wanna."
And the thing about the children's toys: it wasn't like someone playing with Lego or play doh as a break from class work. This was someone that would shirk schoolwork altogether because she wanted to play with her dolls on the floor. Sorry for thinking that's a little odd.
#65Girlfriend's father was terrible. In attition to being emotionally abusive, he demanded to know every detail of where she was going, who with, and when she would get there. He badically said she was a child who couldnt do anything on her own and needed him to whip her into shape because thats what his parents did to him. He was also a bible thumper when it benefitted him and his strict rules.
My girlfriend got kicked out on her 18th birthday without so much as a "call your mother to pick you up" she had 5 minutes to pack as much as she could in a trash bag and get out. I got a call at 12:30 at night from her and had to go pick her up.
Years of abuse had taken a major toll on her. She had major self esteem issues and body issues, and some health issues that the doctor said were stress related. She had major trust issues with men because of her "father approved" boyfriends who would fake love until they slept with her, then leave her. I was the first guy she ever really trusted and the first she told any of this to.
She lives with her mom now and is doing much better. She's even going to college now for social services because she doesnt want anyone else to suffer like she did. We're currently looking for a place together and i'll be proposing next september on our annivarsary if everything keeps going like it has been. I'm excited :)
Edit: Wow, did not expect this much feedback! I get off of work and my phone is blowing up! Thanks everyone for their support! :)
#66Muslim girl at work. Father would follower her in his car to work. Then same after she finished. So allowed her 'independence' to drive, but only if he was directly behind her in his car...
#67A job applicant came to interview for an open position. During the normal discussion and vetting it started to look like this person wasn't very driven, proactive or maybe even really qualified. This point was driven home, when he asked how much longer the interview was going to last. We asked why. His response?
*"My dad drove me here and is waiting outside to take me home."*
This was for a professional position, requiring a four year degree (that takes on average 5+ years to acquire) and some years experience working in the field. We dismissed the candidate. Afterward it became clear that dad had likely authored the resume also.
#68A college student's parents renting an apartment in the city she was in school in so they could take care of her and she could live at home with them.
#69A friend of mine's parents were so obsessed with the fact that their kid should be saving money, that they routinely confiscated every penny on his banking account onto a savings account.
The poor guy worked every Wednesday and Saturday to get some money to do fun things with his friends, but when he went to pay his card would get rejected and it'd turn out his parents had moved every penny he'd worked hard for to a separate account he couldn't access.
When he turned 18 he spoke with the bank and revoked his parents their access to any and all banking related to him.
#70A girl I've known since 1st grade was followed by her mom her whole school career. Her mom became a security guard at each school this girl attended. All 12 years. It was very weird.
She could never date a guy, because her mother would stalk and intimidate them. She mostly hung out with closeted gay guys.
The girl ended up having a romantic relationship with her band teacher (20+ years her senior) in her junior year of high school. They eventually got married and had a kid. They're still together.
#71I was raised as a Jehovahs witness.. didn't have a cell phone until I was 16 and I paid for it myself. Didnt have internet access until I moved out or went to friends/family. Wasn't allowed to hang out with friends unless they were in the cult, and they & their family were "*spiritually healthy*". I remember some school kids riding bikes asked if I wanted to ride bikes with them and play basketball, and I asked my dad and he said I couldn't because they weren't JWs, I cried and told them I couldnt. Wasn't allowed to date until I was 18, I did actually and about got kicked out of the cult and my families home because I talked and did naughty stuff with my now wife. I went to public school but was not allowed to interact with normal kids, I was not allowed to partake in any holiday activities or any evolution/deep science classes. Eventually I became rebelious and actually got suspended because I hung out with some clowns and we did stupid stuff, so my father pulled me out and stuck me in homeschooling when I was 14. I didn't leave my father's house for two years unless it was for "*meeting*" nights, working with him (semi truck driver), going in the door-to-door ministry, or visiting other JWs. I sat at home either home schooling or Bible study for almost two years. I remember a family friend gave me an Xbox 360 and a small TV that I hid under my bed and played in my closet at night, or read books I got from the library that I wasn't supposed to read (Harry Potter and stuff like that). When I turned 16 and got my license and a car I was given a bit of freedom to drive errands, to the meetings, out in service, but eventually my rebelious side came back out and I took an inch and went a mile. I started sneaking out on weekends and seeing my then girlfriend, hanging out with other JW kids who were like me. I eventually started working for another JW out of town with him and his son who was my age and I moved in with them to get away for a bit. It was so different.. we played video games, I got a smart phone and had wifi, and just did normal teenager stuff.
A lot of this I cannot blame for the JW cult, because my father ruled with an iron fist and he had anger/control issues. However the cult just fueled/justified his issues. He thought he was raising us the best spiritually clean way that is possible, when in reality he kept us under a rock and f****d us up socially. I have been out of the cult for three years now and I still have emotional issues and a hard time making friends. I don't have a relationship with the JW side of my family because I chose not to be a JW. However I would never go back, I would never do those things to my child, and I will always have that baggage in my heart.
But hey now I'm an adult with a [motorcycle](http://i.imgur.com/jyGGa2t.jpg), lots of video games, [happily married](http://i.imgur.com/sFDwWKV.jpg) (she's also an ExJW), and some good friends & family who accept me for who I am.
#72My ex girlfriend mom. Short story her mom take my ex girlfriend to an abortion center because she wanted her daughter to have a richer partner.
Her mom has always decided who she date with and this kind of stuff.
#73I have actually been sitting on this story until I found an AskReddit for it. So I worked as a lifeguard for 4 years, and during my final year lifeguarding I saw her; the helicopter mom of the year. Her kids was like 4 and actually a very good swimmer for his age. The mom wouldn't get in there pool, but she made very sure to stand at the edge giving him orders and micromanaging his actions as he played with other kids. She has been making the poor kid check in with her almost minutely, even though he was never really more than 10 feet from her as she followed him around. Well, after a while of this kid getting harassed by his mother, he's had it. This four year old boy swims that 10 get back to his mother because she wanted to make sure he was alright, and tells her "Mom, shut up. You make me want to not be alive anymore.". This was the funniest s**t is ever heard a child say, and it very well might never get topped. The mom started crying and put him on timeout so she could helicopter him more, but that little kid was G.
#74My sister is an RA (dorm supervisor at a university) and was called by the parent of one of her residents because their room was too cold.
I assume the resident was just complaining to her Mom "I'm always cold" or something, but get it together people.
#75I have a couple of stories;
1- family member is super controlling of her son. The typical "don't do this, don't do that" at all hours of the day. Tends to speak for him. Any time he says something legitimately funny, that isn't offensive, she yells at him for making too much noise. Got him started in karate, then started bullying him into quitting when she found out they have to spar (mind you, this is super controlled, light contact sparring. Accidents do happen, but are few and far between). Now he plays every other sport under the sun. She mostly has him involved basketball and travel team soccer, two sports with much higher injury rates than most martial arts.
2- the parent of one of my high school band students. This parent was on my a*s over every little thing. They thought I didn't give her kid the credit they deserved? There was an email the next day. Thought I favored another student (who was a better, more talented, and more coachable player)? There was another complaint. You name it, I heard it from this parent.
We had a 3-day trip planned, and I let the kids sign up for their ideal rooming situations (assuming you followed the rule of filling an entire room of 6 people to a room at once). This kid signed up for a room with one other person, thinking they would get it to themselves. So, as stated in the rules of the trip, I split them up to fill up two other rooms that had 5 each. Guess what- there was another email, this time requesting a meeting with an administrator. I'm fairly certain this kid will be nearly non-functional without their parents coddling them every step of the way through college.
#76I have a younger cousin who at 15, had still never been allowed to take a sex ed class, go to a highschool dance, eat school lunch, have friends over, go to a friends house, or take part in after school activities. For example, The step mother (not my real aunt, I refuse to aknowledge her as family even), heard my cousin watching the Big Bang Theory. Some character says the word "procreated" and the sod flys off the handle about what a filthy show it is. Cousin started dating a guy against her step moms wishes, and due to literally not understanding how sex worked, got pregnant and is going to have a baby. My cousin is mentally maybe 11 or 12, still watches barbie movies, wears princess dresses, and is having a child. Literally helicoptered over until it absolutely backfired.
#77I had to move back in with my parents my last year of college because of student teaching. Even though I was teaching 40 +hours per week (for free) and working as much as I could on weekends I could barely afford basic bills. They gave me a curfew of like 10 pm and were awful to my boyfriend. If I wanted to stay at his place I had to lie and say I was staying at a friend's. Move forward a year and we were engaged to be married. They kept going on and on about how awful he was, then a week before the wedding she tried to have "the talk" with me. I told her it really wasn't any of her business. She had a conniption about that among other things and claimed I had ruined "her" big day.
I wish I could say that was the end, but after the birth of my first child she all but kidnapped me and dragged me off to her home 8 hours away claiming she was "helping" take care of me. She then spent the week suggesting that I leave my husband and divorce him and move back in with them. Another kid later and yeah, we don't talk anymore. I'm moving to Japan in a month and no one on her side of the family knows because they all acted like that or worse.
#78My college roommate, I lived with him junior and senior year, so from when he was 21-23. It was his first time living away from home, but not really, since he was from the same town that campus was in. Every week, at least once, up to three times per week, he'd go home for dinner because his mom made him. During this time she would grill him about homework and grades, as if he was still in high school or something, and ask why he wasn't going on any dates or bringing home any nice girls. She is why he wasn't bringing home any nice girls.
We went on a baseball roadtrip once, and even though my car was much younger and had no issues, unlike his troublesome car, she insisted that he couldn't go if it wasn't in his car. so since he was doing the driving, he couldn't text obviously, so he decided to give my number to his mother to give updates. We were driving back from Detroit to Buffalo, so we drove through Canada, so we had to turn off our phones, and when I turned my phone back on I had a ton of messages asking me if her son was alright doing all the driving, especially in a foreign country, and she wanted to know why it took so long to cross the Canadian section of or drive. She wasn't even my mother but she helicopter parented me
#79I was at some event taking place before a baseball game. Among other things, I had to take photos of the event - to show sponsors all the people attending and all the kids having fun.
As I was snapping pics, some woman grabbed me.
"What are you doing? WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!! He's taking pictures of my son! Who's in charge here?"
I pointed to my shirt. "I'm in charge here, lady. I have to take photos for the sponsors."
#80One of my best friends. We're both only children and have grown up together, luckily my parents started to be a little more lax (for example, people are often surprised I'm an only child by the way I act.) We're both in college now, and she has to text her mother every time she a) leaves her dorm. b) walks to class. c) gets into her classroom. d) leaves her class. e) makes it back home. She is also discouraged from going anywhere that's not class or her apartment.
I wish I was kidding. I also went on vacation with her and her mom once last year and her mom literally positioned her body for every single picture.