Mass shootings in America: What to do when you’re feeling overwhelmed

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Cat Perez, 39, lays flowers at a memorial at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas Monday, May 30, 2022, to honor the victims killed in last week’s school shooting. Photographs of the victims, from left, show Layla Salazar, McKenna Lee Elrod, Jayce Carmelo Luevanos and Nevaeh Alyssa Bravo.

Jae C. Hong, Associated Press

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Fight or flee. It’s only natural. When bad things happen, you put your fists up or you start running.

Since I’m a journalist, fleeing rarely feels like an option. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not supposed to punch people, but I’m also not supposed to hide when tensions rise.

But in May, amid a string of mass shootings, I began to feel like my fighting days were numbered. I couldn’t take reading the news anymore, let alone finding ways to write about the latest developments, too.

It was during this tough period, a time when all I wanted was to hide with my young son somewhere safe, that my copy of “The Light We Give: How Sikh Wisdom Can Transform Your Life” arrived. I started reading it to prep for interviewing the author and soon realized that it couldn’t have come at a better time.

In the book, Simran Jeet Singh describes fighting against faith- and race-based discrimination throughout his life and where he’s found hope and strength during moments when he wanted to hide. He writes about rediscovering the power of human connection and overcoming the impulse to hate what you can’t understand.

Perhaps the best part is that Singh does all of this while freely acknowledging his imperfections. He makes it clear that you don’t have to be a superhero to develop better ways to deal with pain and stress.

When I met with Singh in late May, I told him I was struggling to get the latest mass shootings out of my mind. And then I asked him what to do the next time breaking news breaks my heart.

First, I need to honor my feelings, he said. It’s OK and even good to hold my son and cry after reading about a school shooting, especially when the alternative is to pretend everything’s fine.

But then, I need to pick myself up and make a plan. I have to reenter the world instead of hiding out on the couch.

“Engage with (the news) in a way that expresses the best of your values,” Singh said.

For me, that engagement looks a lot like doing my job. I value honesty and thoughtfulness, and I’m lucky to work for a company that encourages its writers to find nuanced ways to write about current events.

Finally, Singh said, I have to intentionally develop and express compassion for others — and for myself. In the midst of difficult times, the world needs kindness and open hearts, not more anger and avoidance.

“We’re never going to get a place where we all agree with everyone on our politics, worldviews and in how we behave. What we can do is try and at least see where people are coming from,” he said.

If you, too, have been struggling to digest all the news this summer, I encourage you to check out Singh’s new book. I’m betting it came at exactly the right time for more than just me.


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Odds and ends

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